Transformers: Dreadful to Fine
Though the franchise has become a gigantic joke in today's cinema environment, your view on these films depends on whether or not you can settle in for two and a half hour films without getting overly upset at the movie's stupidity. Some of these films are quite possibly some of the worst films made. That said, some installments are fine and I'm able to enjoy one or two of these films without finding a whole lot of wrong in them. They are a far from perfect and there's no sugar-coating these criticisms. So sit back as I rank the five Transformers films from the dreadful to the fine.
5. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
It would be interesting to interview Michael Bay. That way, I could ask him what he was thinking when he did this Transformers movie. If a sequel, say Empire Strikes Back, is the perfect example of a sequel gone right, Revenge of the Fallen would be the polar opposite displaying an example, or the example, of a sequel gone wrong.
Just by reading the production troubles this film endured alone, you could tell that this film was doomed. Revenge of the Fallen was most of its way through filming when the "script" was completed. Even though that was likely due to the Writer's Strike of 2008, it still doesn't excuse the utter garbage that Revenge of the Fallen turned out to be. It had a pretty decent trailer, but the only good that came out of that was a sign of the franchise's misleading marketing. Something that would continue in a much later entry.
If you haven't seen this film, first off, congratulations. Second, you're likely wondering what makes Revenge of the Fallen so bad, so allow me to elaborate. I want you to imagine a film that has an unbearably stupid story, mixed with horrible and stereotypical characters, with a side of overlong action sequences, and female characters that are, for lack of a better word, objectified throughout this two and a half-hour train wreck. That is Revenge of the Fallen in a nutshell, but there's way more bad than I actually make it seem.
The actual Transformers are sidelined once again to favor the human characters and none of them have anything to offer. While Shia LaBeouf was okay in the first film, this started his decline into being a terrible character. As if he wasn't on thin ice already, this time around, Shia LaBeouf as Sam was utterly ridiculous and the ice beneath him cracked on a truly horrible performance.
I mentioned the plot, but there is no plot and I'll elaborate on that. It's not very thought through well and makes it seem like Michael Bay and company didn't watch their previous movie. Things happen because the script says so and usually the little interesting aspects of this "plot" is few in number and lacks any depth.
Whenever I say so much bad about a film, I usually try to find some good. One action sequence is okay, the sound effects continue to be impressive, and the visual effects are almost seamless. That's about it. Nothing else is good.
Grade: F
4. Transformers: Age of Extinction
After Shia LaBeouf's time in this franchise had run its course, the Transformers series was looking for a reinvention. While the actors in front of the camera changed, Age of Extinction simultaneously kept everything that audiences hate about this franchise.
Lack of a story? Check. A focus on humans rather than the title characters? Check. Lingering and gratuitous focus on female characters? Check. It's all here and more. There's a ridiculous amount of product placement that, if I had to list them, I would likely reach to fifty or more. This installment is even almost three hours long.
I have no problem with a movie being almost three hours long. Often times, they make for the best films of cinema. The Godfather, Lord of the Rings, and Ben-Hur are great examples. Here, the runtime is poorly used. When the film that has that kind of length length, chooses to use its time focusing on why its legal that the young couple are able to date, then you know that the script wasn't good enough to support said runtime.
The action is all over the place. It's overlong and it gets old real fast. The visual effects don't help. While most scenes look like it can be framed on a wall, the shaky cuts make it hard to see what's going on. For the most part, the Dinobots are just an action device. A way that the film can stuff as much action as possible in the film.
Another thing that is riddiculous about Age of Extinction is that the American flag is overused. It's one of the things that Michael Bay does in his films, but it's taken to the extreme with Age of Extinction. When the film takes place in America, for the first two-thirds, there are many shots with at least one American flag in the frame.
Don't worry though. Just when you think that the movie is gonna get overly patriotic, the location jumps to China for no reason. Not because of the story or anything else. It's pretty obvious that the film took place there by basically pandering to Chinese audiences for a larger box office intake. Which it unfortunately did. Overseas, Age of Extinction made more than half of its worldwide total. With the overseas total alone, it made 22.3 million more than Revenge of the Fallen's entire box office income which was 836.3 million.
Critically wise, it's not much better than the last place film, but with a better lead, effects, and a somewhat better score than Revenge of the Fallen, Age of Extinction managed to be ahead by one spot.
Grade: F
3. Transformers: The Last Knight
The best way to describe The Last Knight is that it's a meh film. As my first theatrical Transformers experience, I would've liked to have seen better. It's not a good movie, but its not an overly bad film like the last two. It fits in between the area of being inoffensive and uninteresting. I would credit that to the biggest issue of this movie, which is that the marketing was very deceiving.
The trailers teased Optimus Prime going evil, the secret history of Transformers being revealed, and the reason as to why they keep comeing to earth. What we ended up getting was, while not totally off the mark, very short-sided and convoluted. The "Optimus is evil" storyline lasts for all of five minutes and while we did get some answers as to why Earth is the main target for these giant robot battles, the majority of the plot is dedicated to the latest descendant of Merlin and the search for his staff.
Even with the shortest runtime since the original movie, the story still drags and is constantly loses my attention throughout. The lack of a good villain hurts too. Like Optimus's evil storyline, the main antagonist, Quintessa, is barely in the film and has nothing to do whenever she's on screen. Frank Welker's Megaton lacks the scariness and intimidation that Hugo Weaving brought to the role and his cronies of punk deceptions, who aren't scary at all, make it seem that Michael Bay didn't care with his last directorial entry. The rest of the Transformers were just as dull, minus a little John Goodman and Bumblebee talking with Siri's voice.
Speaking of which, Bumblebee getting his real voice back didn't have the impact that I thought it would for something that was a plot point from the very beginning. Partially because Michael Bay didn't give it enough time to have an impact and his emotionless connection with Cade. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I feel that that would've been better if Shia LaBeouf's Sam was still around because of the strong connection the two characters had over the original three films.
Michael Bay did fix a few things that people had initial gripes with previously. For one, it was gratifying to have a female character that was an actual character that had purpose and not just a female actress that was there for her looks and nothing else. There wasn't a lot of female characters if I'm being honest, but Laura Haddock made up for it with okay acting and a purpose beyond a love interest.
Because the story and characters don't entertain that much, Michael Bay's signature action, gorgeous effects, and a dazzling 3D experience made up for it a tad bit. It wasn't a return-to-form by any means, but I'm glad Michael Bay made some things right again before he left and I'm curious to see where the franchise will go without him.
Grade: D
2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
In a strange way, Dark of the Moon, which I keep wanting to call Dark Side of the Moon because of the Pink Floyd album, is an okay film. It isn't horrible like the later films on the list and it isn't misleading like The Last Knight.
In some way, this actually had a comprehensive story. At least when compared with the other films. Revolving the plot around the Moon Landing was a clever and inventive way to fold the Transformers lore into the real world and actually make a story for this third entry.
Having Leonard Nimoy in the film increased my enjoyment of the film despite its many faults. He plays a different villain with a set of motives that were more interesting than those already seen in these films. He makes a literal reference to his role of Spock in the Star Trek films. It took me out of it, but on the other hand, it was a nice reference that brought to my attention that his character here is practically the evil version of Spock. Peter Cullen and Leonard Nimoy have great scenes together and they shared an interesting relationship that was both intriguing and potent throughout.
Shia Labeouf does okay work here as his likely last performance in the entry. They wrap up his story pretty well if it this was his final entry. He does a lot in this film and though he does his usual ridiculous scream for Optimus, the character was actually interesting this time. An emotional depth is given to the character and he has more of a connection the the Autobots, especially Bumblebee. I cannot say the same thing for his new girlfriend though.
After comparing the director to Hitler, Megan Fox left the franchise. I didn't miss her. She literally had nothing to do than look pretty in the two films she was in. Though was wan't much different from Megan Fox's character, model-turned-actress Rosie Huntington-Whitely did an okay job filling in for the role as the girlfriend. The moment you meet her, you know you're not gonna like the character, but she wasn't as bad as Megan Fox was.
The action is bountiful. In fact, the whole third act is one big action sequence. It can get old, but luckily something interesting happens just as that's about to occur. Arguably, it has the best action in the entire franchise. The score is changed up for the new film with Steve Jablonsky returning again to craft an alright score. Dark of the Moon is just alright and nothing more. To this day, Dark of the Moon remains the most successful of the franchise with over a billion in total revenue. It also remains one of the two only decent films in the series.
Grade: C+
1. Transformers (2007)
I think more people would reflect better on this film had it just been the one-off that it was set up perfectly to be. Unfortunately, for the sake of money and at the cost of creativity, it continued.
That somewhat detracts from the film, but it's a fun and solid movie to watch. It has all the Michael Bay tropes for better and worse, but even all the bad stuff isn't as excessive as it would later get. Subplots abound, stereotypes are there, but this was a good movie.
He's not a very good actor, but Shia Labeouf did a few things good with this role. He has a few bad scenes, but he makes for an okay lead in this film. I liked his relationship with Bumblebee. It's surprisingly enjoyable and it is so rife with emotion. The actor also had some funny and well-delivered lines sprinkled throughout this movie. I could've done without Sam's parents though. They took an unnecessary amount of screen time that could've been dedicated better to the Autobots and Deceptions.
The Transformers were impressive. Autobot and Deception alike. They were pretty cool then and the CGI on them would only get better with each entry. I'm glad that Peter Cullen decided to come back for Optimus Prime after being in the original cartoon. Hugo Weaving was a fun villain as Megatron. He fit everything that a serviceable villain needs. The design of each of the robots was cool, but they start to look similar to one another and when it comes to the action, it's hard to tell who is who.
Technically, Michael Bay films are marvelous and the first Transformers film is no exception. Impressive sound effects and design, well-filmed action, great CGI, and some practical effects tossed in for good measure. I certainly don't like the entire franchise, but I do enjoy this film and there's a lot to like.
Grade: B-
Grade: B-
Conclusion
So that's my ranking of the Transformers franchise. I'm very curious on what you thought of my ranking. Do you even have a ranking of any of these films, or do you think all of them are the same? Share those thoughts in the comments section below, tell me what you'd like to see me rank next, and share this with your friends. Thanks for reading, I'm the Film Fanatic.
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